Though I’m a bit late, in the spirit of Mother’s Day, I wanted to post about the loads of grace that I’ve received from my mother. She’s taught me many things, but I’m going to pick just five to share this Friday morning:

1. A bath, a candle, and a glass of wine can go a long way. My mom is a creature of habit, and one of her habits is her nightly bath. Now that I’m a mother, I’m glad she taught me the restorative power 🙂 of a nice hot soak with a good smelling candle and a glass of red wine.

2. The art of savoring. My mother is the master at savoring good things, from a delicious meal to a new experience to the sunshine on the beach. She tips her head back and breathes it all in. She has nailed the art of everyday gratitude. 

3. The power of grace. My mother joined a church in her early teens that taught her the grace of Jesus Christ. When she talks about grace, she talks about it as if it’s something she’s still astounded by. For a born and bred Christian, hearing her talk about the wonder of grace makes me appreciate it for what it is: a beautiful, undeserved miracle of love and forgiveness.

4. The meat of life. Since I’ve had my kids, my mom is quick to remind me that I’m in the meaty part of life. She says there’s nothing sweeter than the time when your kids are all living in your nest…important to remember when I’m feeling frazzled or dissatisfied with life at home with kids.

5. The beauty of forgiveness. It’s her story to tell, but my mom had a very difficult childhood. Rather than turn her sour, her life story champions the beauty of forgiveness: her forgiveness of others and the Lord’s forgiveness in her own life.

What’s your favorite thing about your mother?

It’s been a busy week, as most weeks in May tend to be. I’m married to a teacher and also tutor after school, so the sounds of a school in high gear have been buzzing in my ears. Everyone is past the tired stage, with kids in hyper mode and teachers hanging by their Expo markers. The weekends are packed with birthday parties and graduation parties, while I’ve scheduled dozens of appointments in the middle of it all (I do it to myself). We’re thinking about moving (again), but only across town, and longingly planning our summer vacation.

All of it is wrapped up in the realization that our very first year here is already ending, much too our astonishment. The calendar pages flew out our condo window, and the whole last nine months seems much like a dream. There’s been more than one time that I’ve woken up from sleep and wondered for a split second: Where am I?

In the midst of May, however, and in the middle of a busy week, I realized it was time again for one of my outside posts. So with the sun in our favor and a supper of sandwiches, we found ourselves with a pleasant hour. We all pulled on our suits, loaded up our red plastic wagon and headed to the pool. A quiet hour after supper to watch the kiddos leap joyfully into the pool again and again and again.

And as we sat there watching in this surprising hour of peace and quiet, my husband pulled out the question: What’s your favorite memory of this year? And, being too lazy to pick out just one, I simply said, “Our life. This. Time to go to the pool together.” And happily, so happily, I realized that I meant it.

That’s what I love about being outside, watching the clouds steadily stream by and the sun set again on a day, it gives you time to meditate on life, the way time marches on, and your small place among all of it. You step away from your home, your calendar, your month of May, and suddenly you have time to contemplate. You realize as you watch the sun rise and set, the moon wax and wane, the summer come again, that life wasn’t meant to end…your soul was created to know eternity. And even though life has to end here on earth, God ensured that your life would go on into eternity. And with that thought brings the knowledge that all this here and now, it’s just a speck. It’s just momentary. We can be thankful for this sunny afternoon, we can endure a dark night. A different kind of Spring is on its way.

I’m continually grateful for other writers who write things that wake me up, hit me between the eyes, and make me sit up and take notice. Here are a few of my favorite quotes that I’ve read lately:

1. “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone…in our own home. Bring love into your home, for this is where our love for each other must start.” Mother Teresa

2. “The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of once inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet and learn to be at home.” Wendell Berry

3. “Anything you do from the soulful self will help lighten the burdens of the world. Anything. You have no idea what the smallest word, the tiniest generosity, can cause to be set in motion…Mend the part of the world that is within your reach.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

4. To freely bloom…that is my definition of success.” Gerry Bloom

5. “Let go. Let go, let go, let go. And then, trust.” Katrina Kenison

Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
² Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; ³ have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
⁴ Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.

This little sign hangs on our front door, in our our tiny tiled entryway. My daughter stuck it there three months ago, and if you can’t make it out, here’s what it says:

I love you because you are you.

It’s the title of one of her picture books, and this saying greets me coming and going each day. It reminds me of the love that we have for each other, that beyond anything we do or give to each other, we love each other just because. We fail each other, we help each other. In our best moments, we are self-sacrificing; at our worst, we are self-seeking and rude. Beyond our kept or broken expectations, we love each other simply because we do. This love covers over a multitude of shortcomings and sins, fears and failures. It carries us through to forgiveness.

When I fail as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend…when I see my own mess of a life clearly, it’s easy to get down, to give up, to feel fear. But there’s something about this line that always comforts me. It reminds me that I’m included in my family’s grace for each other. This quote always brings to mind this passage from Titus chapter 3:

4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Sometimes I’m so disheartened by my failures and my faults that I don’t move from repentance to joy in the Gospel. I lose sight of the fact that God loves me for me, not because of what I’ve done or not done. It’s not at all what I’ve done, but what God has done for me. This kind of love lifts me up and rescues me from myself. It’s pure balm to know that God’s love is not conditional…it’s unchanging, steadfast, sure. It is everything I’m not, and still, it’s for me.

Knowing this means I can finally be still. Knowing this means rest for my tired soul. Knowing this means my life can be motivated by God’s love, not by pride or self-assurance or fear.

To be loved and known, understood and appreciated, cherished and cared for…that’s a deep need we all have. It’s met partly by our spouses, children, family and friends, but only completely and perfectly by God’s love for us. It’s a love that passes our understanding, but was proved by Jesus, who loved us simply “because” we are His.

Dear Father,

What a privilege it is to approach your throne, one I don’t deserve. Yet you invite me back day after day, and you are ready at any moment to listen. I’m sorry for growing apathetic about your gift of prayer. I’m sorry for viewing it as a to-do item, instead of a get-to-do privilege. Forgive me for Jesus’ sake, and help me to view prayer as what it is: a precious gift and something you command me to do.

Lord, thank you for your love, your grace, your forgiveness…and all the joy and peace these gifts have given me. Help me to share the message of the Gospel with those around me, to seize the opportunities in front of me.

Lord, please strengthen my faith in you. Help me to forgive and love. Help me to seek heavenly things, not earthly things. Help me to make reading your Word, praying and writing here a daily practice.

Bless my husband, my children, my family, my friends. Heal those who are sick, comfort those who are sad, give peace to those who are struggling.

I ask this in your Son’s name,

Amen.