Yesterday, a friend asked me to take a survey. I think it was for a graduate class she is taking. It was two or three pages long, full of statements that I could mark as “never” or “not usually” or “usually” or “routinely.” Most of the questions were about my health. Do I eat 3-5 servings of fruit a day? Do I exercise for 30 minutes a day? Do I get routine check-ups? Do I feel emotionally able to handle my daily life? Do I spend time with people who support me?

One of the questions struck me. It was: “do you have problems accepting things you cannot change?”

My instinct was to mark the “not usually” bubble. I don’t rage against life too much or shake my fist at heaven too often. But then I stopped and looked backward for a few minutes. If I reach back into my past, I can find the anger and the feelings of injustice and the disappointment pretty easily. I can see myself wishing for different circumstances. I can see myself pouting. I can see myself wasting time and energy trying to change things or people I had no business trying to change. I know I’ve prayed for the Lord to change my surroundings instead of changing my attitude.

Accepting things I cannot change takes humility. I means that I have to shelve my ideas of what I think I should have or what I want to happen. It means that I have to get out of the way while God is doing his work in my life (or rather, the life that he gave to me).

I don’t like to get out of the way. I like to help arrange things…a little too much. I like to bring my list of requests to God and hear all yes-es. And when I don’t get the answers I want, I don’t find myself accepting. I find myself worrying and fearing and complaining.

This is not a peaceful existence, believe me.

One of my favorite quotes is quite familiar, but the application is forever a work in progress for me. It popped into my brain as I sat there contemplating whether to mark the “not usually” or the “routinely” bubble on my survey.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Sometimes we can change things, sometimes we can’t. But something we can always change is our attitude. We can focus on God and find the peace we are seeking because our God does not change. He is and always will be almighty, loving, all-knowing, all-seeing. He is always working things out for the good of those who love him. He always keeps his promises.

I marked the “I’m working on it” bubble.