I should have written today’s blog post right when I got home from church this morning. It was such an inspiring Advent service. Our praise band led the worship, so the lyrics of old, familiar songs hit me in a fresh way. My pastor’s sermon was all about keeping Christ in Christmas. And the liturgy and prayers and confession of sins and readings all spoke to me. As I sang the last hymn, at least six blog ideas were circling in my mind.

But after church I caught up with friends and ran some errands. I napped on my beloved couch and took my kids to a birthday party a half hour away. I got home and did some work on my laptop. And now I sit here, scratching my head, looking for all the inspiring ideas that flew out the window between the last hymn and the Sunday Night Football theme song.

If normal life is distracting, life during the Christmas season is doubly so. I find myself sitting here with my laptop and God’s word, finding strength and clarity, but then I go about my days, unlearning everything I just wrote. It’s the same with confessing my sins to God each day. I offer them up to my Father, asking for forgiveness, only to return to those same sins within hours. I write a Christmas program about focusing on the real beauty of Christmas, only to lose track of that beauty as I run around getting ready for it.

What a wretched man I am. The good that I want to do, I do not do it. That I do not want to do, I do…

I am such a sheep. I follow my shepherd. I know his name…but oh what a pretty flower that is! Now I’m going to chase that squirrel! What’s that shiny thing?! Except I’m a human, and this Christmas I wander around all the shiny new things to buy or my all-important to-do list or vegging out in front of Netflix or whining about my latest worry…until I look up and have no idea how I got here, unable to remember the beautiful point my pastor made in Bible study this morning in church.

This is exactly why I have to write this blog everyday this December. I am distracted so easily. I lose track of the point. I get wrapped up in the unimportant. I do the unnecessary. Martha, Martha, you are concerned about many things…

This is why I go to church every week, because during the six days in between, I forget. This is why I confess my sins, again and again, because in the 23 hours in between, I relapse. I read God’s Word, the same things over and over, because the world has so much conflicting and distracting and confusing ideas and situations. I come again and again because I need to. There’s no way around it, no quick fix, no one-stop shops. This side of heaven, I am and always will be such a sheep.

God tells us to stay close to him, not just because he desires our worship, our thanks, and a strong relationship with him. God tells us to read and confess and praise and give thanks regularly because he knows that we need his constant reminders and guidance. He knows that we are sheep.

Dear Lord,

Help me to stay close to you this Advent season and all year long. I am sorry for become distracted from your truths again and again. Every day I wander. Lord, thank you for rescuing me from myself. Thank you for coming here to earth to take away all my sin. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning and for the beautiful, ever-present truths of your Word. Be with me as I travel this road to Christmas, and keep me close to you. In your name, Amen.