My dad was here to visit a few weeks ago, and on our way to pick up my daughter from school he was telling me about one of his congregational members. She got married later in life to a wonderful man. After a couple happy years of marriage and just a couple years from retirement, she fell terribly ill and now is in a nursing home. Poof. All of her plans up in smoke in just a few short weeks.

I’m sure you’ve heard similar stories. People getting sick too young, children dying, awful catastrophes wiping out hopes, dreams, and carefully laid plans. As I grow older, I’m starting to face up to this truth: it’s not if something bad happens, it’s when.

This thought has been laying heavy on my heart lately: when will the next bad thing happen to me? When will someone I love get hurt or be taken from me? How can I shield my child from tragedy? My faith is being tested by this world and its trials.

I don’t think I’m being irrational. Jesus said that we would have troubles in this world, but he didn’t want us to be overcome with worry. He plainly says, “Do not worry.” I know these things, but my heart is having a hard time accepting it all, and getting over my fears. I’m having trouble trusting God with my future.

My pastor helped. This Sunday he told a story about when he was a child. He was bored one day, sitting outside looking for something to do. He noticed a line of ants crawling back to their hole, and he began to play a twisted little game. He would cheer the ants on, encouraging them as they neared their hole, “Just a little further, ant, you’re almost there.” And right before the ant reached his home, he squashed it flat with his foot.

Is God like that? Is that how we think God acts? Cheering us on most of the time, but then letting us get smooshed flat when trials and tragedies come our way? When surrounded by hurt or the fear of it, do we wonder if God is really on our side?

I have to admit that yes, I’ve caved into these fears. I can’t see what’s going to happen, and so I’ve let fear, not faith, set up camp in my life.

My pastor went on to assure me that our God is a trustworthy God. He is a loving, caring God who loves us deeply and purely and with a love beyond our imaginations. He has our lives in the palms of his hands, he lifts us up on his strong eagle wings, he knows us intimately and cares about our every step. He knows our needs and desires, our hopes and dreams. He gives us only the best gifts.

How can we be sure?

Just look at Jesus:

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all–how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Could we have better proof?

We know that we don’t have to fear God or what he will allow into our lives because he gave each one of us the ultimate gift: his Son. If he would sacrifice his own Son for you, he loves you with a love beyond comprehension. He loves you with a love that we cannot always understand, but with a love that we can trust. It’s a love that will carry us ultimately to heaven, and beyond all the trials and tragedies we endure in this world.

(Just like that little old ant from the song…I have high hopes, high hopes, high in the sky apple pie hopes…)