But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:9-10)

I ticked through four of my five goals last week, so I have just one left to go to finish out round one of my month of goals. My fifth goal is to get more of the gospel. It’s the most important thing we can hear in our lives, yet, why did I save it for last? Why do I often wait until my back is against the wall before I seek out my Bible and its message of grace, forgiveness and hope?

I think it has a lot to do with my pride. There’s something in my nature, probably all of our natures, that wants to do it ourselves. There’s something satisfying about figuring it out by myself, accomplishing a task, wrangling a project to completion, fixing something broken, the reward of hard work. I like the ‘atta-girls I get.

And probably more than that, I hate feeling weak. Or helpless. Or stupid. Or making mistakes. But since I am who I am (a human), I am by turns all of these things. There’s really no way to avoid it. Even if we’re super smart, we find ourselves doing stupid things. Even if we are strong, we have our weak places. Even if we do it all, we need help sometimes.

So this way of thinking (highly encouraged by our pull-yourself-up-by-your bootstraps society and work-hard-and-be-rewarded psyche of American culture) doesn’t line up at all with the gospel. Oprah and a lot of the self help books out there say you can do it, if you just try hard enough or let go enough or draw yourself up a vision board enough. A lot of people believe in grace, but in the context of love for others or loving yourself. Most of the world seriously doubts the love of God. And they’ll tell you that, too.

I point out my pride and our culture because these are just a few of the things lead me away from the gospel, from going to the sweet words of grace. There isn’t anything in this world, human or not, that is enough, sufficient, perfect, or all-encompassing. The true beauty of those words are found in the full and free salvation won for us by Jesus on the cross.

And that’s probably one of the reasons I don’t come to hear the gospel. I can pretend that things are sufficient and enough for awhile, but when the world, my own sin, and trials bring up the stark contrast between my crumbling life and the complete fullness of the gospel…that’s when I seek it out. And God knows that. There are times when I know he allows these things into my life simply to bring me back to his word. And that’s exactly what God did for Paul, too, in those verses in II Corinthians. Paul had a thorn in the flesh, whatever it was, we don’t know. But that thorn in that flesh was a daily reminder to Paul that God’s grace was enough and will always be enough.

When we’re down on our knees, humbled by pain or weakness or hurt, God’s power shines brightest by contrast. Clear out our pride about taking care of things by ourselves and our delusions that we have control, and the truth remains. God is love, and He is the only one that can see us through the darkness of this world…right into heavenly glory.

And for us believers, paradox is comfort and joy. When I realize my sin, how sweet my Savior is. When I face death, I am the closest to my home. When I let go of control and plans and worry, how smoothly I sail. When I am weak, oh how strong I know my God to be!